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False Expectations Appearing Real

Friday, September 9th, 2016 at 5:57pm Eric Utoft Eric Utoft Group

FEAR. Your heart starts racing, palms sweating, an overwhelming sense of uncertainty and doubt surround you. It can catch you when you least expect it. Suddenly you are on the receiving end of a joke, it sets in. Your date no shows, there it is with a smile on. It's the night before your first day of school, it accompanies you in the form of a knot in your tummy. Yes, FEAR. But, let me ask you this; how is it helping you? 

A very wise and delightfully spunky grandmother of mine used to say, "everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear". I believe George Addair said it as well. I invite you to ask yourself the very aforementioned question; how is my fear helping me? Is it hindering your sense of self worth and confidence? Is it empowering you, motivating and encouraging you to overcome whatever obstacles lay in your way. My hope for you is the ladder. 

Fearlessness is fictional. It's only natural to experience fear on occasion and for some of us uncomfortably often. 

Fear of failure.

If we never try, we never have to experience failure. But as the great Martin Sexton reminds us, be thankful for failure...

*forget about dreams forget about being a dude

study business real-estate and warfare history

and just how to smile when you are being screwed

then i bombed the test and i did the best that i can

so i finally cut my mullet and i joined a band

 thank you failure

for all those things i could not do

so much of my life

it’s all i ever knew

thank you failure for the mighty music

you made the dreams that chose me

come true**

 -- There is only one thing that makes your goals impossible to achieve, never trying.

Fear of rejection.

We all have had that moment where we stop ourselves. Perhaps it's asking someone on a date. You find yourself hovering your thumb over the send button. Does the phrase -swipe right- mean anything to you? For me, it was mustering the courage to pass along the triangularly folded and all too appropriately doodle'd note along to the cutest boy in my middle school class. To each their own.

Fear of success.

So often I hear family, friends and loved ones talking about wanting to be successful in life. Now, my opinions on one's idea of success would likely fill this entire page. So, instead very simply put--"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, --- you fill in the rest. ;-) I love this quote because it is so completely accurate, it's almost silly. We stop or assume we are incapable, undeserving and blame these attributes for our failures or inadequacies. When if only we would look past the fear, past the excuses and assumed attributes-- success we would likely find. 

Fear of not being good enough. (Also known as Atelophobia)

I'm just going to stop you right there. You are. 

What am I getting at? If you truly want what we all deserve out of life, go get it! Success is possible, whatever your definition. We can never control those around us and we are always going to have less than some and more than others. It's finding what works for you. So hustle, find it and go for it! 

Eric Utoft

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